"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl."
Stephan Hoeller
So after my last blog post, I have come in contact with many who believe that it is in your head and you can turn depression off with some sort of switch, guess what? It isn't that easy, do some research before you try to give advice, because while you speak, I am looking at you like you are a miseducated idiot.
I saw my Doctor Monday, even though I was prepared to pour my heart out, I froze, I told her I was in a very dark place, my Dr has heard this song and dance from me before, so it wasn't shocking, this time I got two prescriptions, one for Cymbalta, I have tried six different anti depressants and atleast four for anxiety...seeing large spiders the size of a bear in your bedroom at night wasn't awesome, so I deal with depression first. I believe it was Celexa that made me hallucinate.
The other prescription was for a therapist. Now that was the furthest thing from my mind these past 12 years, I mean who wants to tell a stranger how crazy they feel? Well that time has come, I need to if I ever want to get better. I am actually excited to get the help and finally get a proper diagnosis.
So we wait....
I started taking the Cymbalta last night, there are many side affects, my dr said it could cause you to bleed....I responded "from where?"
Bruising was what she was talking about, been there done that, projectile vomiting is also a bad sign, well no excorcist needed here, thankfully, just dizzy and light headed, another side affect, loss of appetite! Which is awesome for a recovering bulimic.....With all that being said, I can deal with those three, but you wonder if it is all worth it.
I will keep you all posted, wish me luck.
No comments:
Post a Comment