Being Pregnant and living with a disorder

As you all know when I was pregnant with Oliver I gained 65 pounds, I was very depressed during that pregnancy. Now I am pregnant again and I am aware that I have a problem and it haunts me every single day, every time I eat, every time I gain a pound, it is really tough.  I know some of you can relate to me and share the same illness but those of you that don't, don't judge and don't tell me it is easy, I have been dealing with this fight for over 10 years now and sometimes it gets easy and sometimes it consumes your body and mind.

I have had the most control this time but it is hard to look in the mirror and think pregnancy is sexy, charming or beautiful, don't get my wrong, I love my kids and my unborn but it is very difficult.

I had to get that off my chest.